I read this quote and I felt like I was reading the words that have been uttered from my heart and soul 1,000 times but could never make it to the tip of my tongue. The past 6 months have been a roller coaster with highs and lows and only numbing in betweens. The things I once thought to be fun or invigorating feel lifeless, tasteless. A piece of me flew away with Logan's angel wings, a more whole piece of me than I ever imagined I could miss. In the last few weeks I've come to realize that my passion for life has been dulled by the sting of the heartache I bear. I do not want to live like this. With what little life Logan was granted to grace earth with, his passion for life was full, overflowing, and zealous. His fighting spirit and positive energy flowed through me for the brief 6 months I carried him. His sense of Ryan and I being together was strong and announced with kicks and flips. His liking or disliking of whatever food I ate, music I listened to, or book we read was well known by his movements, or lack there of. He was a passionate boy from conception, just like his momma and daddy use to be. Wait. Used to be? This can't be right. No. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my Ryan. I owe it my family and friends. I owe it my handsome, bright, passionate, energetic son who taught me more in the 6 months he was with me than I have learned in my entire lifetime. I cannot change my circumstances. I cannot change my desires. I cannot change, deny, or ignore my heartache. But I cannot deny or ignore my passions, my desires, and my dreams. I must press onward. I must celebrate my precious baby boys life by continuing my earthly one. My passions will never look or taste the way they did before because I look now through different eyes. It's time to redefine, rediscover, or maybe just remember my passions.
In an effort to do this, I created my own personal campaign: 30 Days of Passion. I announced on Facebook on May 31 that I would be starting this campaign. Each day I will post 1 thing I am passionate about. There are no rules, just this one simple guideline. I do not believe passion can be reigned or defined. Passion needs to be creative, raw, whole-hearted. Passion can come in many different shapes and sizes. Passion can be a range of emotions from happy or sad to excited or angry. So, starting June 1, I posted something I was passionate about. I will continue to post about a person, place, thing, or idea that I am passionate about. And, if I get to a day where I can't think of anything, then I will try something new. It may not be a passion forever, but it can be a passion to learn, a passion for the moment! Care to join me in my journey? Or maybe, start your own journey?
Day 1: Rain ::There's something cleansing about the rain. It brings me comfort and a soulful joy...my name is Misty, after all :)
Day 2: Healthy Living :: Now I'm not an at-the-gym everyday kinda girl, nor do I count calories. But I do believe in healthy eating habits and being active! It makes me feel more positive about myself. I do it for me, but I also do it for my husband, my family, and my friends. They deserve the best me I can give for as long as I can give it :-)
:: Baby Boy, I miss you more and more with each passing day. But I will not let you down! Momma is doing her best! Your strong little heartbeat rings loud in my ear morning, noon, and night reminding me of the passion you had for life. Thank you for sharing your strength, your courage, and some days, even your spunky little attitude with me. You truly are my hero, my handsome little hero! I love you, darling. Forever and Always. I only pray that I can have half the strength and courage with every beat of my heart that you did with yours. -- Momma::
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